365 Wallpapers

A.D.D. Desktopping

Wall 73: Every Silver Lining

with 5 comments

everystormcloud

 

Noir Upton

It was one of tghose rainy nights where n othing sxtayed dry. You know, got in peoples bon es. The speakeazsy was soaked with saps. Someone had to drfy thed join t up. Babyface beaZnpaw upton c ould dry anything.

Upton knocked on the cellar door.

Crunchcrunxchxcruncxh! Was the sound of his paw on the wood.

A slit opened and a face appeared, masked in alcohol and shadow.

you are too short and hairy tol enter.” The man laughed.

Upton was not going to let a password bar his entry. The commission was too big. “fuckface! Let me in.” upton said. He knocked the guards face like he had the door.

“ow, ok.” The slat closed and shortly after the door to the basement swung open. The mazn stepped sided tgo let upton through. The gorilla of action pulled his collar up and his brim down, not wanting to be recognizxed here yet.

Upton flung himself down a shofrt flight of strairs and gathered himself on the bottom. A modest bar ran the length of the wall, a low ceiling concealed the bargoers spirits. They drank in quick gulps, not looking around. Those standing were wet up to theire ankles in standing water. The basement was flooded.

The bartender noticed him and whistled, “Hey mack.”

Upton pulled up a stool.

“What’ll itbe?”

“Got milk?”

:Skim or 2%?”

“Breast, preferably,” upton saiod under his brim. His blank stare gave the bartender an uneasy feeling.

“We don’t serve your kind bub.”

“…I could leave, if you want…” Upton got up to leave.

“No, wait!” the baretender said wuickly. “Maybe we got something for you here.”

The bartender reached behind the counter and placed a ripe bunch of bananas in front of Upton. “

Upton let out a sqweal of pleasure.

“Thought you might like those.”

Upton looked at the bartender. “So, I’m here. What do you want?”

Upton had been hired to meet the bartender. That was all. Bananas had been promised.

“We got a water problem here.” He gestered to the stagnant water.

:Not my problem. I’m dry these days. What’s in it for me?”

The bartender produced two more bunches of yelo bananas and five more green buncxhes.

“ok. I think I can help you. I’ll need to see your ppipes. I know just the man to help me. Beautiful crack. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Upton flung himself off the stool, bananas in his Cars suitcase. Boogie was waiting outside to carry him back to the cave. Boss Mommy would be happy to here this.

 

 

(Stay tuned for another exciting installment of Noir Upton, the saga of a little gorilla trying to untangle a web of lies and corruption in the concrete jungle)  NOTE: All stories typed by Upton himself with help of a consultant.

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Written by brianmz

April 15, 2009 at 10:39 am

5 Responses

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  1. Albeit occasionally difficult to read, very suspenseful! I am excited for the next installment!

    Mandy

    April 15, 2009 at 5:18 pm

  2. Upton tries the best he can. Try and type something with your fists next time!

    brianmz

    April 15, 2009 at 5:37 pm

  3. Careful Upton; plumbers are known for their dirty tricks!

    jimmy

    April 16, 2009 at 5:54 am

  4. I THOGFUHTB I BWOULDS TRY TRYPIJNGF W3ITRH JKMY FDISDTZSA, HOW DSIDSE I DO?

    sentence reads: “I thought I would try typing with my fists, how did I do?”
    The word “fists” was very difficult! Kudos to Upton :D

    Mandy

    April 16, 2009 at 6:58 am

    • I didn’t need the clarification. I’m a pro!

      brianmz

      April 16, 2009 at 11:29 am


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